Labor Story Part 1 (No Epidural)

November 14, 2019

"You will never be prepared, no matter how much you try!" I heard these words so many times throughout my pregnancy.

Whenever I would say I was taking classes or doing countless amounts of research or simply trying to prepare myself for labor, experienced mothers would tell me there's no such thing as preparing for the unexpected. Labor rarely goes as planned.

While I agree with the fact that labor rarely goes as planned, I am a true believer that preparation is key to success.

I apply this to every aspect of my life. If I don't prepare I feel like I am setting myself up for failure. Labor was going to be no different. I was determined to be as prepared as possible.

So I did everything I could to prepare for what I thought was going to be one of my most challenging experiences. I knew it would be challenging but beautiful at the same time. And the finish line was meeting my baby boy, a happy ending!

Arian's due date was December 3. My last doctor's appointment was on October 26, 2018 and my following appointment was supposed to be November 9, 2018, and weekly visits after that.

Sunday November 4th came around and Alex and I had our maternity photo shoot. I was debating on what shoes to wear and I ended up wearing my favorite booties.

It was at Presidio Park and we did some walking to be able to capture some good sceneries. After that, we went to eat then finally made it home.



After changing into my pajamas and laying down I suddenly had a strong urge to go for a walk, yes at 10 pm. I told Alex and he looked at me with a confused stare lol. He then said, "Okay, let's go!" We got up, put our shoes on and went for a walk around our neighborhood.


About 10 minutes into our walk I felt a sharp pain in my abdomen. It wasn't necessarily painful, but more uncomfortable. We decided to go back to our home and wait it out. I felt no more pain and felt completely fine the rest of the night.

The next day I had to go to work, and it just so happened that that day I was running my meeting in Solana Beach (about 30 min drive from my home). When I got there (around 6 pm) I got out of my car and right away I felt what I thought was discharge at the time.

I made my way to the bathroom but didn't see anything so I went on with my regular schedule. I was sitting down for about 15 minutes and felt like I had to go to the bathroom again.

I got up and made my way to the bathroom. As soon as I sat I felt a big gush of water come out. Right away I knew this might be my water breaking. I texted Alex and I called my mom to ask for opinion and she told me I should call my doctor right away.

I called my doctor and after asking me a few questions she determined it was most likely my water breaking and advised me to head to the hospital right away. I was not feeling any contractions or any pain at this point.

It was 6:20/6:30 pm, and I had to head south on the 5 freeway. Traffic was going to be horrible!!! I spoke to Alex and we decided he would Uber to me and he would drive us back down to the hospital.

I was waiting for about 10 minutes when and I started getting a little nervous and anxious. I then decided I would start driving down and meet Alex somewhere closer to the hospital. We ended up meeting in Clairemont, even though it did not take too long to get there, it definitely felt like an eternity.

We finally arrived at the hospital a little before 8 pm. Alex dropped me off in the front while he went to look for parking. I was so scared to get off the car, I didn't want to leak everywhere lol.

At this point I still had no pain or contractions. I checked in and they wheeled me up to the labor and delivery floor. They took me straight into the triage and told me they would check to see if my water did break or if it was something else.

They checked and confirmed I had premature rupture of the membranes at 36 weeks. They then informed me they would contact my doctor to see how she wanted us to proceed.

They also informed me I was no longer able to walk around and had to be in a laying position until I delivered. My first thought and question: "what if I have to use the restroom?" The nurse smiled and showed me a tiny bucket I would have to use... ohhhh.... myyyyyy... goddddd! Lol

I contacted my mom and updated her on what was going on. She asked if she should come and I said we were just waiting so there was no point. I told her I would call her once she should start heading over.

The nurses in the triage informed they were waiting to hear back from my doctor to see how she wanted them to proceed. It was about 9:30 pm when she called them and told them she suggested I get induced since I was having zero contractions and my water broke and it was premature labor.

The nurse told me I would be getting cervidil. I asked a millions questions since I had not done any research on this form of induction. I knew the most common was pitocin, and even then my plan was to avoid induction as much as possible unless it was absolutely necessary.

I asked the nurse what I should expect once it was inserted. She said I would have it in for about 12 hours and during that time I would feel mild cramping but nothing extreme. She then said I wouldn't deliver for another 24-48 hours since it was my first baby and I had no contractions.

Alex and I decided he should go home to prepare our hospital bag, set up baby's car seat and finish his capstone paper that was due the next day. Before he left he asked the nurse one last time if baby was coming any time soon and once again she said "No way! She has a long way to go."

My mom arrived at the hospital at around 11 pm. Soon after she arrived they induced me. About 20 minutes later I started feeling some pain on my lower back. I didn't think much of it and tried to ignore it.

By 11:45 pm the pain started intensifying so I told my mom and we checked my contraction chart and it was still flat. According to the machine I still had no contractions. I waited it out but about 15 minutes later the pain got so strong I was starting to get nervous.

I called the nurse over and asked if she could check if I was dilated, and she told me there was no point in checking. She said based on the chart I wasn't even contracting so she knew I couldn't be dilated.

She then went on to talk about how majority of first time moms think the pain is stronger than it actually is. I actually thought she might have been right at the moment and thought to myself "I'm so dramatic!" Lol. She said she wouldn't check me until 8 am the next morning.

15 minutes after that (about 12:15 am) my lower back pain was so intense I started crying and yelling. The nurse came over and once again checked my chart and said I wasn't contracting. I told her the pain was very strong and I wanted to be checked she said she couldn't, again, I had to wait until 8 am the next morning.

She left, my mom tried to comfort me but the pain got so bad, I felt like my hips were being pulled apart. At that point my mom ran to get the nurse. The nurses told my mom to wait outside.

I then told the nurse I needed to get checked because the pain was so bad I could no longer stand it. She once again said "sweetie, you are not even contracting yet. You'll be okay." At that point I felt ignored, vulnerable and upset, I demanded to speak to my doctor (who was delivering triplets at another location.)

I told the nurse she was being uncooperative and not listening and that I wanted to speak to someone else because this was not normal. She then rolled her eyes and said she would check.

She went in to check, and guess what? I WAS 10 CM DILATED!!!!!! Her eyes got so big and she just kept apologizing saying she didn't know how it had happened so fast.

I then yelled for my mom and told her to call Alex because the baby was coming. I was feeling so helpless, unheard and nervous. Labor is already very difficult, but my nursing team in the triage made it even worst.

I understand nurses and doctors deal with women in labor every day and this might be a very common experience for them. However, this was MY FIRST time, my SPECIAL MOMENT, and they did not treat me with any respect.

They ignored my requests, labeled me as a weak person unable to handle "normal pain," and did not care one bit about what I was feeling and experiencing.

I did my best to clear my mind and keep a positive attitude. I knew the most difficult part was coming and I wanted to be fully prepared and go in with a positive and clear mind.

The nurse asked me if I wanted the epidural. I thought it was too late but she said I could still get it. I decided I wanted to do it, since at this point the pain on my back was unbearable.

The anesthesiologist showed up with a nurse. She started prepping me and they asked me to sit up. My contractions at this point were less than 20 seconds apart.

The anesthesiologist kept saying "Don't move because if you move I could paralyze you!" SERIOUSLY? I know the dangers of an epidural and while he was right, how could he keep asking me not to move when my contractions were so close together?

After a few times of him telling me not to move I yelled and told him I didn't want it. The nurse then said "Honey, you need it. Your a first time mom!" I lost it.

Up to this point I had had nothing but bad experiences with everyone. Nurses not listening to me, ignoring me, telling me I was exaggerating, and now this one telling me I NEEDED AN EPIDURAL BECAUSE I WAS A FTM.

At that point I told them both to get out of my room and to not talk to me anymore. I really wanted to focus on staying positive and letting my body do what it was meant to do. I continued to take big breaths and think about everything I had learned about during my pregnancy. I was determined to deliver Arian with a positive mind.

Soon after that, another nurse came in and checked me. She said she saw the baby's head and that we needed to head into the delivery room. They then informed me all delivery rooms were taken and I would be delivering in the OR. WHAT???!!!

Everything I had planned went out the window. My mom and Alex were both supposed to be in the room with me. But when delivering in the OR only one person can be with you.

As they were rolling me into the OR, I asked the nurse where my doctor was. She informed me she was on her way. I also asked for my mom and they told me she was out in the waiting area.

I spoke to my mom briefly and told her what was going on (probably just babbled since I was in so much pain lol). My mom was so sweet and supportive and told me everything would be okay and that Alex was almost there.

They rolled me in to the OR and I kept asking for Alex and my doctor. They kept telling me they were both on their way. At this point my contractions were pretty close together and they pain was very intense!

I remember telling them I had to poop (lol tmi). And they kept telling me it was baby coming....I was so nervous, scared and anxious to see if my doctor and Alex would make it on time...

To be continued !

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